"Hooray!

Can you work for us .... Please contact Glenda Brown to get you started- please do so quickly. We need you."

Its so nice to be needed :)

Maybe I should look into a signon bonus which might entail some sort of weekly twizzler allowance. It could be my signature with all the patients. Walk in gnawing on a twizzler and say, "Hi, I'm the chaplain for today. Care for a Twizzler?" And for really obnoxious patients that don't like to cooperate, we could slip a little morphine in it or something.